Joyful, Joyful: What Happened When I Brought My Whole Self to Work
Amplifying the voices of women of color in fundraising and philanthropy, as they share their personal thoughts on relevant topics.
By: Shauwea Hamilton, Executive Director of Bottom Line’s New York City region
There is a lot of debate around the staff satisfaction question, “Can you bring your whole self to work?” That’s probably because many BIPOC and women-identifying folx are trained from an early age to do the exact opposite. At least for this Generation X Black woman I learned early that success requires adapting to dominant cultural norms. It required a certain way of speaking, dressing, behaving, and performing at work. Some of it was ingrained in me by my family—to name my favorite phrases: “never cry in public”; “you're going to have to work harder than everyone else”; and “‘ain’t’ ain’t a word.”
Much of it was learned by observing who was successful, who advanced, and who was regarded, and modelling those behaviors and ways of being. It’s the data-driven, non-emotional, efficiency-above-all-else frame of mind that I adopted and where, quite frankly, I found success. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the fact that I have an instinctive and uncontrollable need to speak my mind, the ambitions I hold would probably have long since been achieved. That’s because I “mostly” figured out how to fit in.
The rewards of this were clear—rapid career progression, stretch roles beyond my years, achieving financial stability much earlier in my adulthood than I could have anticipated, and overall “success.” But I never paused much to think about the costs. I often wondered why I felt the burning urge to leave a job (exasperated) after three to four years. Could it just be that I was exhausted from performing at work and needed a fresh start?
At least for this Generation X Black woman I learned early that success requires adapting to dominant cultural norms.
Not too long ago, I was exhausted and followed the guidance of my friend Virginia Lee; I explored a coaching relationship to understand what was contributing to my fatigue and general dissatisfaction even in the face of career “success.” I started my coaching relationship with an amazing human and phenomenal coach, Sarah Jawaid. Early in our coaching she asked, “What would have to change to bring joy to your work?” I was momentarily stumped, but then I came up with a list. This list became the core of my coaching discussions with Sarah. How can I make this list come true?!
Here is my list:
Purposeful connection—connecting truly with people I work with on a human level. How do I engage in a way that I can “see” them and allow them to “see” me?
Speak my truth—especially when it is in service of making the implicit explicit.
Shed a light on shame—bringing self-awareness to the moments when I don’t know something or make a mistake and find a way to bring that into the light (even just by naming it out loud). It’s amazing how much shame grows in the dark.
Tolerate Expect imperfection—I have been hard-wired over time to get it “right”. As a result, I came to judge imperfection harshly. We are imperfect. I wanted to orient toward learning from mistakes, not judging them.
Ask for what I need—never (ever) forgo a chance to communicate precisely what I need (for myself, my team, my organization).
The minute I stopped trying to be someone else’s version of me is the moment I became a better leader and a more liberated human.
What I quickly realized in bringing this list to life is that it required me to “bring my whole self to work.” I didn’t apply a veneer of formality, or perfection, or any other formula that had guided my approach to work in the past. I was just me. The results?
The minute I stopped trying to be someone else’s version of me is the moment I became a better leader and a more liberated human. It’s how I bring joy (and myself) to work. I developed deeper relationships with more people than I ever had before at work. I listened deeply to feedback and learned from it but did not let it hold power over me. I worked on boundaries—prioritizing my health, well-being, and connections outside of work. I trained (with Sarah Jawaid) to become a coach so I can support other leaders on their journey for balance and impact. And honestly, I achieved more success at work. I got harder things done. It feels good.
As we kick off this new year, I encourage you to give thought to what will bring you joy in your work. Work to make that list come true. And when you do, share it with others—it just might inspire another person to make the changes they need to bring comfort and ease to their professional life.
Shauwea Hamilton, Executive Director of Bottom Line’s New York City region
Since 2018, Shauwea Hamilton has served as the Executive Director for Bottom Line’s New York City region. Bottom Line supports first-generation students from low-income backgrounds get into college, graduate, and go far in life.
As a first-generation college graduate, she understands the challenges students face as they seek access to and persistence through college. She believes fiercely in the mission of Bottom Line and is thrilled to have the opportunity to serve in this role.
Shauwea earned a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology from Rutgers University and a Master of Business Administration from Fordham University.
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